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| Boston just won the world series
and I'm listening to Muse
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| I'm tired as balls and have been tired as balls for the past week or so.
I was supposed to read a 15 page .pdf file on St. Augustine for English today that, naturally, I didn't read because I couldn't focus my attention on something that seemed so boring. So, I just made up a fairly creative discussion question and got that much more sleep.
Yet for some reason Bruce Wilson makes it seem like the most interesting stuff. I don't know if it's because he's already analyzed it a bunch of times already and knows how to apply it, or just because he can talk for a full hour straight and not get tired of himself laughing or making connections to the reading.
I love the class, I've just hated the reading lately. We moved onto this dude St. Augustine who apparently wrote the first autobiography in history.
The thing about my english class is lately I've felt like I've just appreciated the readings if I can apply them to my own life. And if I can't apply them in anyway whatsoever, then they're not interesting to me. That's a pretty selfish way to look at a Literature course, but hell it's true. And in St. Augustine's situation, there are some things we could all apply:
Augustine lost God because he lived a life mostly filled with sin (he wrote the book when he was old, faithful, baptized, and happy, by the way). His writing is mostly about internal discovery through religion. To him, there are many goods on earth, but most of which are sinful goods. These goods are lust, envy, power....in a more concrete way riches, a hot wife, other gorgeous women, plenty of food and friends, etc. They're all things that we latch onto to help find our happiness; we think we're happy in those things. But St. Augustine's view is that by latching onto those, you lose your soul to sin. And it's by the experience of losing himself that Augustine finds God and appreciates all the sin he's given him, for without it he would never have found God.
It's an unbelievable discovery, if you think about it. Like imagining just sitting around for years on end wallowing in your own self pity, having sex with random girls, partying, making money, but it all just sucks; everything still sucks bigtime. Then all of a sudden you realize what's been up the entire time, and you're awoken. It wouldn't be as religiously intense as Augustine's, I'm sure, because his was a very religious awakening: he heard voices that told him to open the Bible and read the first thing he saw. So he came to a realization. He got baptized. He's a completely faithful human being.
It took this guy like 40 years to find himself. It kinda takes the pressure off of worrying about whether I'm doing what I should be doing now in life, doesn't it?
I just can't wait for us to get to Dante and Shakespeare, I have a feeling I'm gonna dig them much more.
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| I sit here listening to the Smashing Pumpkins and wondering what really happened to them.
What the hell makes a musical god like Billy Corgan watch his band fall apart and not give half a shit? Or at least have the balls to man up and fix things. I've noticed most of his songs are about love, loving, loving a woman, not having love, missing love, or love being greater thann allllll things. It's like a bunch of cry baby bullshit, but the songs are so good.
He doesn't seem to love much at all. After D'arcy left the band, he didn't give much of a shit for her. Now his mom has been dead for awhile, James left the band after fighting with Billy, and all he has left is Jimmy Chamberlain, but in an interview on youtube they just seemed so damn awkward together. They hardly seemed like a "band" that would have great songs like the ones they made in the past.
WHO THE FUCK IS BILLY CORGAN?
He writes so many songs about love, but he's like a friggin hollow body in how he conveys emotions socially. This is biased of course, because I don't know him, but sheesh the interview was awkward and he was just plain weird on stage.
Where is the love he fuckin sings about? What does a guy have to do to his friends to have to write about a love he'll never feel?
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| I miss my old dentist dude.
The new "adult" one I have doesn't mess around, the girl checking my teeth went at em like a clay carver, and the only way I could get through the annoyingly loud scraping/chinking sound in my mouth was to clinch my thumb and index finger and picture a mouse...because that's kinda what it sounded like.
And no matter where I go they always tell me to floss. I'll friggin floss, just not every damn day. It's just inconvenient.
Going to the driving range and par 3 today.
Seeing Superbad tomorrow with Dori.
Listening to Pearl Jam now.
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| So I got back to campus in one week.
That's one week to get packed.
One week to finish Harry Potter.
One week to tie up lose ends at home.
I'm damn happy about how many times I got to see Brit this summer. It's been sweet.
Fourth of July in OC with my family, jammin to Brand New and enjoying Re(homo)hobeth. Went to Hershey Park and didn't take the tour to get free chocolate and I decided against going on a kickin roller coaster for the first time in my life. We DID, however, get soaked.
She visited here, I visited there, we went to two concerts (one of which we got into for free through volunteering), and had a damn good time. We went sailing, I tried weed, went to the Philly zoo, she took a turn into oncoming traffic and nearly got us fucking killed in Baltimore...
Life's good
Today my grandma and pop pop had their 50th wedding anniversary, an event that my mom never thought my pop pop would live to see. There were over 40 old people in our house. About 30 of which I didn't know or recognize, the rest I hadn't seen in at least a year. Luckily my cousin Mike came with his sisters, without them it probably would have been chubbs and I serving guests downstairs.
Turns out some of the older guys weren't satisfied with my dad's alcohol selection, so my dad invited me to take a trip up to the liquor store. As we were driving up the road, two things happened.
First
I saw party guests about to make the turn down Forked Creek road to our house, and then it looked like they were turning, then hesitated and braked.
Second
A fast passing car swerved much more than necessary, it seemed like the driver took fright in the turning old people, and shot by the front of our car and nailed a fire hydrant 20 feet away.
My dad didn't realize what had happened until I said "holy crap," he wasn't even paying attention.
It all happened in a haze to me. As the blue car slammed into the yellow fire hydrant i saw the airbag shoot off from one of the two seats in front, the grill smashed, the car smoking, the windshield darkened, the passenger girl stumbling out of the car holding her forehead and making a crying face without the crying, the driver boyfriend coming out to hold her as she falls to the pavement and lies there squinting and gasping.
My dad gave me his phone, I called 911, and then we turned around and went home.
Now...shit like that doesn't happen everyday, and it's only when you see it happen 20 feet in front of you that it seems to affect you. If my dad had driven my car like he does the Audi and had arrived at the stop sign 2 seconds previously, we would have been t-boned. That's the way my mom thinks. I was thinking why the people swerved so much in the first place and hit a fire hydrant. It was nuts, and I couldn't help smiling while I was trying to explain it to the people at the party.
ANYWAYS, scared the shit out of me.
I'm tired, I bought the first season of Rescue Me. for when this season's over.
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